Are Cougars Lurking in Your Neighborhood?

We’re all feeling the effects of the financial meltdown caused by subprime mortgages. If you went interest only, then you’re probably sweating bullets right now. You probably already have a couple of bank owned foreclosures in your neighborhood. These are all the “in your face” issues we’re watching on the news on a daily basis. However, there is something else going on and I haven’t been able to put my finger on it until now. We’re starting to see some additional side effects from this crisis that are unbeknownst to many, but not for long.

You see the subprime mortgages caused a huge construction boom that many will never see again in our lifetime. Thousands and thousands of houses were built all over the United States. Man’s encroachment onto mother nature has caused a ripple through the ecosystem. In neighborhoods throughout the U.S., thousands of wild animals have been displaced by our expansion. They have nowhere to go, but into our communities and neighborhoods in search of food and shelter. Yes, I’m talking about the cougar.

I only started to notice it a couple of months ago. You ever go for a walk at night to get some fresh air. You feel like someone is watching or following you. The hair on the back of your neck stands up. The cougars usually stay out of sight during the days, but you’re sure to see them in the evenings mostly on Friday or Saturday night. The look of the cougar is self explanatory. Feline. Tight pants, low cut tops, high heels and about 35-50 years old. Keep your sons inside. They often like to camouflage themselves in either a leopard or zebra print. Don’t let that fool you. The plunging neckline always gives them away!

Myself, I only have to worry about the 45-50 year old cougar. The others just don’t bother me. However, all men 30 and younger beware. If you think that’s blood in the corner of their mouth, it’s not. It’s some kind of cheap red wine or maybe a cosmo. My awareness level is really at a high point since I’ve had a couple of cougars make comments about my son. Good grief! He’s only fifteen. I’m thinking this should be brought up maybe at the middle school and high school level just so all young men are aware of the dangers.

There is also another anomaly going on within the cougar ranks. It only affects the male cougar population. This is the “cougay.” Although not as predatory as the female cougar, the cougay is definitely more dangerous. The good thing about the cougay is that they are only found in certain parts of town and you can warn young men to stay away from these areas.

Thanks for letting me bring these issuse to light. I think I’ll go home and get “cougared” now.

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